Artemis Fowl: People Stuck In A Box
by Ph33r the island ona
Summary: What might happen if you put some of the Artemis Fowl characters in a box, and wait for them to explode. My first fanfic. Totally pointless organized randomness. You have been warned.
1. You're Stuck In A Box

I've buried this in an obscure archive in case anyone finds it. Anyway, if you do, stop reading now, because you probably won't know what it's about.

Artemis Fowl: People Stuck In A Box

Well, author's note: My first fanfic. I know it's totally illogical that you'd be able to contain everyone in a box like this, but bear with me, put up with my weirdness.

Disclaimer: Unless you are completely dense, you probably know I don't own Artemis Fowl. I do own the two people on the invisible speaker. Well, I only own Katrina to a certain extent. The other person on the speaker I own completely and in full, I have complete control over what she says, does, writes, eats, drinks, and pretty much everything else. Okay? Now that that's over with, let us continue with this hopeless mess of a story.

I've decided to skip over the stupid entrance scene I made, and go on with the actual story. Oh, wait. One more thing. -hides behind bulletproof frame- Please don't hate me. It's my first fanfic. -cowers-

* * *

"So we're trapped in…" Holly started.

"A box." Commander Root finished for her.

"Not only that, but there's no way out." Foaly piped up. "It's made from the same material as our LEP helmets, which is virtually indestructible, so there's no use breaking the walls. But somehow, we can still breathe. Ingenious contraption."

He went back to examining the walls, checking for cracks, doors, maybe a way out.

"We can't get out yet, so maybe we can wait to see why we're here." Artemis Fowl was sitting in a corner, observing the situation.

As if on cue, a girl's voice piped up from an invisible loudspeaker.

"Um, hi, welcome to our Observation Room. We call it the box. Now, you can probably tell that you're trapped here—OWW! Katrina, get off!" The girl's explanation was cut short, and the occupants of the box could hear feedback and struggling noises coming from the invisible speaker in the room.

A completely new voice came on, still female, but definitely a different person.

"Right, welcome to the box. You've been picked because we feel like it, and you'll only be staying here two weeks, we promise. In case you didn't look around, I'll introduce everyone in the room." She paused for breath, before rattling of a stream of names. "Artemis Fowl, Holly Short, Julius Root, Foaly, Butler, and Mulch Diggums."

They heard another struggle between the two speakers, and in time the first speaker took over.

"You'll be trapped in this box, and food will magically appear through a portal. Since we feel like it, you'll have a meal that includes potatoes everyday for the first week." Speaker #1 paused and laughed. "There's a door at the far end of the room, that leads to the bathroom. No way out there either."

The second speaker grabbed the mike, and explained the rules. "You'll have to do several things we ask you to do, otherwise you will be denied access to the bathroom for a few days. We start first thing tomorrow. Bright and early. The clock will wake you up."

A small black box appeared in the middle of the room, clearly displaying the time.

"You can go to sleep or something now. We'll still be around. Have a good night. The lights turn on and off with three claps." The girl giggled, and turned off the mike.

"This is an interesting mess we've gotten ourselves into. Any idea who could do this?" Artemis asked.

"There's no one with the technology to do this except Opal Koboi, who's locked up forever in maximum security." Foaly sighed. "So I guess we'll find out the evil masterminds behind this in two weeks."

Holly, who was banging on the walls, finally gave up. "We don't have two weeks. We'll go insane in this box!"

Mulch appeared from the bathroom.

"No escape." Mulch said. "Cant tunnel our way out, can't break our way out, and from what I've seen of the bathroom, can't flush yourself out. Were trapped in a box, probably having our every move watched."

Root turned a brilliant shade of crimson. "Whoever did this, I'll make sure they'll have nothing to _watch_ for the rest of their lives except the wall of their cell."

"It's no use thinking about this in the middle of the night, we're all sleep deprived and can't think straight." Butler pointed out. "Let's go to sleep and figure it out in the morning. We'll all take turns keeping guard."

He clapped three times, and the mysterious light illuminating their chamber went out.

After a few minutes of complaining, the group finally settled down. A few minutes later, you could hear Mulch snoring.

Artemis, on the other hand, was wide-awake. He was puzzled as to what had happened and how it had happened. Who were the brains behind this twisted plan? He'd have to wait to find out.

* * *

-pokes top of head out from behind bulletproof screen- Do you hate me yet? -ducks as hail of bullets is aimed at her head-

If you be nice and review, I might be fast with the next chapter.

Until later,

**ona**


	2. The Dog

Chapter Two: The Dog 

Author's note: Um, I'm boring. I get it. Try reading again; you'll see how boring I really am. This chapter sucks, I ran out of ideas. Thanks Dark Empress of Eternity for helping me get an idea for third chapter.

To my dear reviewers:

wanderingmind911- thanks. I'll try to keep it up.

Athleticsrulz- good to know you don't hate me :)

WackedOutPet13 and almostinsane- Thanks!

Schizophrenic squirrel- yep, I'm the girl who hates Hao. I wonder if I can get the characters of the box to kill Hao… and I'm updating, I don't want the gerbil to haunt me.

OtakuNekoGirl (aka Katrina) what did you do? You're the second speaker. That's all. You're a _CHARACTER_. Like you helped. Suuuure, you just stayed with me on the phone. That's it.

Yamapi- thanks! But I'll never have confidence. –hides behind bulletproof wall again-

Gavrilnagarian- um… I think you said "Update". So I did xD

The Dark Empress of Eternity- Thanks for the ideas, with the truth or dare. xD That'll be my next chapter. But I don't do pairings very well. Sorry XD

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Artemis Fowl characters. But I do partly own Katrina, and I fully own the first speaker, who's name I still haven't put. –pokes first speaker- All I can say is that she's more pwnful than Katrina (second speaker). And I do own Berus. Berus shall protect me from the mean reviewers. –hides behind Berus-

Artemis woke up. It was the second day in the box. He woke up earlier than usual just to check the surroundings. He did note that Mulch had fallen asleep on guard duty, but otherwise, everyone was okay.

It was five minutes before the alarm on the clock went off. Artemis spent those two minutes walking around the box, checking if Foaly had overlooked a crack in the walls.

Seven-thirty. The alarm was supposed to go off now. He was expecting a loud beeping noise, but instead of the usual alarm sounds, the First Speaker started yelling.

"WAKE UP SLEEPYHEADS! WE'VE ASSIGNED YOU ALL A SMALL JOB TODAY! "

All around the room, you could her everyone murmuring, and someone said "Five more minutes"

Fortunately, they had come up with a better way of waking them up than just shouting at them. The clock had been programmed to jump around the room, creating strange loud noises and vibrations.

"Ah!" Mulch, Foaly, Root, Butler and Holly all woke up, covering their ears.

"We have a task for you today!" The second speaker, Katrina, was shouting happily at them. "It involves dogs!"

"D-dogs?" Mulch asked. Mulch hated dogs.

"Yes, dogs." The first speaker replied. "Well, actually just 'dog'. Singular.. Meet Cerberus. Berus for short."

A huge chocolate Labrador appeared in the middle of the room, wagging his tail and running towards the individual closest to him, which in this case was Mulch.

"OUCH! GET OFF, YOU STUPID…" Mulch yelled. The dog's barking drowned the rest of his words out

"You have to look after him for the day, and the dog food is over there." A dog bowl and a sack of dog food appeared in the corner.

"There are also some newspapers, in case the dog has a few 'accidents'." Katrina said, giggling.

"You can have your breakfast now." She continued. "For reasons only known to my friend here, you're having mashed potatoes."

"Let me explain why the dog is here." The second speaker cut in. "We're supposed to look after him, but we have better thinks to do all day. Like Neopets." (A/n: I'm sorry, I love Neopets –laughs- It pwns.)

"We'll leave the dog with you until six o clock." She continued. "Good luck!"

And with those last few words, she tried and failed to suppress her laughter, so she turned off the speaker.

The room was nearly silent again; the dog's panting was the only thing anyone could hear.

"So…" Holly began. "Dogs."

"Yes, dogs." Root growled. "What do they expect us to do with this stupid creature?"

"I know!" Mulch yelled. " They expect you to GET IT OFF ME!" Mulch was trying to get the dog off him, because it appeared that the dog was curious about his beard.

Butler dragged the huge dog off Mulch, while Mulch cursed under his breath and tried to get the dog hair out of his beard.

"Mulch, you have the gift of tongues! Why didn't you talk to the dog? Tell him there was nothing to see?"

"I did, but he wouldn't believe me! That dog is stupid, no other explanation for it."

Their two captors started laughing. "Don't forget, you have to feed the dog."

"We have to feed the dog?" Holly asked

"Um, yes." Katrina was back to assist the box's prisoners with the dog. "With dog food. Over there. Don't worry, Berus doesn't bite."

She was right. The dog didn't bite, but he did drool, slobber, and make a complete mess. He was also stupid, which made everything a whole lot harder.

"I'm taking pity on you, so I'll help." The other one of their captors was back. "Here's a leash. Which of you can restrain the dog? There you go. That's my help." And with a laugh, she left them alone again.

Since Butler was the only one who could hold the dog's leash, the others were in charge of food and…. cleanup. Not surprisingly, no one wanted to go on cleanup.

"NO, YOU STUPID DOG, DON'T CLIMB THE WALL!" Root turned a wonderful shade of magenta.

"Cleanup in corner three!" Holly sighed, grabbing another of the newspapers.

Artemis was also having a hard time with the dog, who seemed to like him The dog smelled terrible, but always seemed to come near him.

The rest of the day went like this, total chaos. It was made harder by the fact that occasionally, weird noises were played that made the dog go crazy, running around to find the source, barking like crazy.

The dog howled piteously, annoyed by the beeping noises occasionally coming from the speakers. Some of the prisoners in the box almost joined him; they were that annoyed. It was a very maddening day.

_A few more days like this,_ Holly thought, _And we'll go insane._

After what seemed like an eternity, Katrina and her friend were back.

"Did you have a good time?" Katrina asked happily.

"NO!" the occupants of the box shouted.

"Fine, fine… It'll be hard-cough-I mean… more_ interesting_ tomorrow… It's going to be a Saturday. We'll be here all day tomorrow."

They all listened with blank looks on their face. They weren't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

The other of their captors suddenly spoke up. "Sorry we left you with the dog. We won't give you such a hard time tomorrow. We'll try not to, at least. See you tomorrow."

And with that, she turned off the lights.

_Tomorrow…_ Artemis thought. _We can find out more about our captors tomorrow. And when we know our enemy, we may know how to defeat them. _

Meehee, that sucked, I know. –pokes story- I'll do better next chapter. I swear. Next chapter I actually have something to write about. An idea. This was just random thoughts I wrote down while half-asleep, and it's terrible. Yes, I deserve to be hit with a blunt heavy object. I'm not using all the characters. Must… use… all… characters… And, the next chapter will be Truth-or-Dare-like. Thanks again to Dark Empress of Eternity for helping me get an idea.

Press the review button :D And type.

xxx

Ona 


	3. Truth Or Dare

Chapter 3: Truth Or Dare 

Meehee. Here goes.

Disclaimer: Must I repeat this? I _don't_ own Artemis Fowl characters. I _do_ own Katrina. I own #2 occasionally, when she is sane. That enough?

To my reviewers…

Nalie, Wottabout- Ooh, emotional breakdowns, claustrophobic ness. Must do something about that.

Spanishfaerie- yep, details. I must add details. I'm bad at details. I'll try to add more details here.

Nenton- Yes. I… HATE… Hao. –eats rabid lupe-

Hao-addict- Yes, Ko. Berus. Remember Berus?. Yes, I deleted the other one. For reasons unknown.

Fish stix satay- 'curtains' gave me an idea :P

Athleticsrulz-yes, hit me with the piano.

The Dark Empress of Eternity- Thanks again for your idea. I'm no good at romance fics either.

Miyu399- thanks :)

Syody- thanks :)

IhateSool- thanks, -looks for typos-

FetishFemale- I'm sorry if they scare you. Katrina is based off my friend, OtakuNekoGirl, so blame her for being scary. Umm… but I can't explain #2's scariness. She's a figment of my imagination, and she lives in the part of my imagination that I can't control.

Now, ON TO THE STORY!

* * *

"Well… it's Saturday." #2 said. "We're here. And so are two sacks of potatoes." Two sacks of potatoes suddenly fell on the ground, creating a large _thud_ and making everyone jump. 

"_Potatoes!_"

"Yes, potatoes. They'll be your breakfast, lunch and dinner. You need to peel them." She continued. "And, while you're doing it… we have to play a game."

"Which is…"

"Truth Or Dare?"

"What? NO! That's a stupid game!" Foaly stomped off to sulk in a corner.

"You must do what we tell you, otherwise you will be denied access to the bathroom for two days." Katrina reminded cheerfully.

"Fine."

"So you all know the mechanics of the game, right? The second speaker asked. (I'll just call her #2. She doesn't have a name yet. Actually, she does. But I won't tell you. Heehee.) "It's a stupid game, anyway, but our AUTHOR" – she paused for a while, clearly angry—"decided to put it. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, ONA?"

"Yes." A disembodied voice said from nowhere. "Now get back to what I told you to do. I am the almighty creator of this fic!"

"Did that just happen, or did we all finally go crazy?" Holly asked uncertainly.

"I think it's safe to say we've all gone crazy." Foaly said.

"Well, that's good enough an explanation for me."

"We'll be taking part in the game too. Another one of the requirements of the author." #2 said.

"Everyone in a circle. "

They followed instructions, and waited to see what would happen.

"I am O." Katrina explained. A circle appeared on the ground between Holly and Artemis.

"And obviously, I'm X." #2 said. The X was between Root and Mulch.

"Wait for the stupid arrow to stop. This is a stupid game. I'm overusing the stupid word stupid." #2 said.

There was now an arrow in the middle of the circle, spinning till it came to a stop… on the X.

"Oh, great." #2 said sarcastically.

"Truth or Dare?" Katrina said.

"Since I _obviously_ can't do a dare, Truth."

"Umm…. _ano_… If you… um… I KNOW! If you had to choose who would you kiss Arty or Mulch?" (Author's note: My friend, Katrina, seriously asked this question when I asked her to help me with the fic. Yes, she's the same Katrina mentioned here.)

Artemis looked disgusted at the question. #2 would have looked disgusted too, if you could see her face.

"You're seriously asking that?"

"Yep."

"Well… fine. I'm going to kill the author of this fic if I ever gain control of my free will." She mumbled. "I'd have to say Artemis, because he's a member of the same species. HAPPY NOW, KATRINA?"

"Yes! Lol! very happy! LMAO!"

Foaly was trying to hide his laughter, but was failing miserably. #2 responded by dropping a potato on his head.

"Well, Foaly's out of the game, due to unconsciousness. Let us continue."

_Well, at least we know that _humans_ are the ones holding us captive…_ Artemis thought.

The arrow started spinning again. This time it landed on…

"Artemis! Look's like you're next!"

"Truth or Dare?"

"Truth. But by taking truth I would be asked a very idiotic question. But it is better than the alternative."

"So, _Arty_, if you had to choose, who would you pick to be the most important people in your life—Butler, or one of your parents. You can only choose one!" Katrina said.

_She was right. This IS a stupid game._ Artemis thought irritably.

_Told you so._ #2's voice suddenly said in his head.

"I would pick... My father, for without him he wouldn't have married my mom who would have never had me, and if I wasn't a Fowl, like my father, Butler wouldn't be have met me. So there." He said in a rush, so that no one could actually hear what he was saying without recording it and playing it back slowly.

"Okay, I think you said that way too fast for anyone to understand."

"NEXT VICTIM!" #2 screamed.

The pointer was spinning again. This time, it landed on…

"HOLLY!" #2 said happily.

Holly stared at the pointer. "D'Arvit…"

"Fine. Dare."

"I KNOW!" Katrina screeched. "We dare you to kiss... MULCH!"

"WHAT!" D'Arvit, no!" Holly shouted, throwing a potato at Mulch's head."

"Katrina, you're sounding more like an idiotic teenager everyday.." #2 remarked. "That was such a predictable dare."

"No, it was a classic dare!" she protested.

"Stupid, Katrina, the word is stupid. And predictable."

"CLASSIC!"

"Oh, shut up. Holly, I'm feeling sorry for you, so you don't have to do this dare, because Katrina's an idiot. And also because it looks like Mulch is unconscious."

"It's classic, I told you, classic!"

"Shut up."

"PII!"

Well, the one we don't know the name of seems kinder… _Artemis thought. _To us, at least. 

_Oh, gods, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me not do this… _Holly thanked her silently. _That was also a very lucky throw; hit him hard enough to knock him unconscious._

"Next? Mulch is out of the game, on the grounds that a potato has knocked him out. That's the second one already!"

"Well… what's next?"

"Spin again!"

The arrow started spinning again. It went around several times before stopping on the X.

"Not again… This thing must be rigged or something. Katrina, what did you do to it?"

"Hmm… your truth question is…"

"I have a better question," Artemis interrupted. "Why are you keeping us here?"

"No comment." #2's voice suddenly went from sounding happy to sounding deadly.

"Answer the question. It's part of the game."

"No _freaking_ comment."

"It's your rules."

"_I said no comment, Fowl, get that into your over inflated head. I will not answer that question._"

"But we answered all your questions!"

"You know what, _Arty_, you're really starting to bug me. I have to devise a proper punishment for this."

They heard the sound of several buttons being pushed, and something began to happen. The room, which had been big enough for them at the start, was getting smaller. The walls were slowly closing in on them, as if they were about to be crushed.

"The walls!" Root shouted. He was trying to push the walls back into place, but obviously failing.

Butler gulped. They had taught him to handle many things at Madame Ko's academy, but how to handle shrinking rooms was not one of them.

_Okay, so maybe she isn't as nice as we thought._ Artemis noted.

The room was barely big enough for all of them to stand in when the walls suddenly went back to their normal position. Slowly, the room went back to normal size.

There was complete silence after that. No one spoke, no one moved. They all just stared at each other, shocked at what happened.

After what seemed like an eternity, #2's voice cut into the silence.

"Sorry!" she said, her voice suddenly happy again. "I had to do that to teach you all a lesson. If I won't tell you, I'll never tell you. I'm so sorry I had to scare you like that, but the reasons are top-secret."

"We'll be going now." Katrina was still there, and she also seemed stunned at what #2 had done.

"No more of your stupid questions tomorrow. But I promise that's the last time I'll do something like that. I'll be nice from now on."

"…" The residents of the room were silent, not wanting to anger her more.

"We'll do something fun tomorrow. And I mean real fun." And with that, they were gone.

* * *

A/N: That last part was stupid. Not exactly funny… but I plan to do something with #2's madness later… ;) Stay tuned for the next part. Includes purple curtains, a sewing machine and several thousand pillows.

-cowers behind another bulletproof wall-

ona


	4. Singing Llamas

Chapter Three Point Five: The Very Short, Very Stupid, Quote-Filled, Singing Chapter With No Use

* * *

I'm suffering from a lack of ideas. WRITER'S BLOCK! –whacks writer's block with a lampshade- I have NO idea why I wrote this, it sucks. Oh, well. ON TO THE SINGING QUOTES! This chapter has no use, you probably won't understand the last part… I wrote this out of sheer insanity. –starts humming to self, crumples up chapter draft, and posts this, waiting for confusion and flames-

Once again, I am crazy. Don't know why I posted this odd short chapter. I'll delete it if it causes too much confusion. The fate of this chapter is in your hands… if you think it sucks as much as I think it does, I'll delete it. -hums-

This day was different from the others. When they woke up, they heard nothing. No alarm clock, no plans for the day, no things they were forced into doing. #2 was humming absentmindedly into the speaker, but nothing else. For several minutes, nobody spoke.

Until Holly decided to ask, "What bizarre form of torture do you have for us today?"

"Nothing, I didn't think of any. Just sit there and stare at the wall." #2 replied blankly.

"You're joking."

"No, Captain Short, I'm not joking. I have no plans for today. Plan for yourself."

She went back to humming inattentively, until Root interrupted.

"WILL YOU STOP HUMMING!"

She stopped humming, and, to Root's horror, started singing.

"Here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama," she sang, loudly and off-key.

"D'ARVIT!" Root swore. He ran to the bathroom, which was fortunately, soundproof.

None of the others seemed to find the singing enjoyable, either. They all seemed annoyed, and some even covered their ears.

#2, oblivious to the frustration she was causing, sang louder.

"I was once a treehouse, I lived in a cake…"

She was practically shouting now.

"Time for me to retire now, and become a duck."

Everyone was happy the song had ended. But unfortunately, a new one was just beginning. This time, Katrina was singing. (Author's note: No, I will not translate. Better if you don't know. Mysteeeriousnesss… Or you could translate it yourself. Don't know why it popped into my head.)

"_Babae po ako…_

_mali ka diyan sa inaakala mo.."_

Butler and Artemis were completely clueless about this song. They didn't know this language. The fairies, however, understood every word. Foaly had even heard this song once, on the Internet. It was a _very_ weird song. By the end of it, Foaly, Holly, and Mulch were all laughing and clapping.

"I thank you," Katrina said, laughing as well.

"What was that song about?" Artemis asked, puzzled.

"Believe me, Mud Boy, you don't want to know." Holly said, still laughing.

Artemis sighed. _It was going to be a LONG day…_

_

* * *

_

Author's stuff: Yep. Stuff from the Llama Song. And the other ones were from the song Babae Po Ako. Don't own them. Obviously.

Now, be nice and tell me to delete this chapter. –pokes the review button- #2 has taken control of the story, and written it in her crazy way.

It's a worthless little chapter. I know :P But I'm insane.

To stress the point, this chapter sucks. It's terrible.

Whee!

Forever insane,

Ona


	5. The Curse Of Maria and an Escape Plan

Author's ramblings: I spent about two hours staring at name databases to find a name for the other character, because I really need a name for her. So in the end, I decided give her the first name that popped into my head. First because... –winces- it's my name. I also mixed it with Bea's name during Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Bia.. –evil cackle- Also, Katrina's first name is Maria, too. Well, anyway…

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis, Holly, Beetroot, Foaly, Butler, or Mulch. I don't even own the box. The only thing I own here is Ria's name. Meep. Therapy.

---------------

"Let me guess, another day of doing absolutely nothing?" Holly asked.

"Not quite." Katrina said, with the smallest hint of evilness.

"So… what are we going to do?"

"I have no idea," she said blankly. "Ask _her._"

She was obviously referring to the other one of her captors, who suddenly spoke into the microphone.

"_What?_ It's not MY turn to think of what to do! It's your turn! I was in charge last time!"

"Yes, and what did we do then? _Absolutely nothing._ So that's why it's still your turn."

"_That was the general idea!"_

Their argument continued quite loudly for the next few minutes, until Artemis interrupted.

"SO we'll be doing nothing _again?_"

"Umm… yes," Katrina says miserably.

They heard a collective groan from the people in the room.

For the second day in a row, they were left with nothing to do, except stare at the wall, the ceiling, the floor, or themselves. They heard more humming coming from the speakers, but any singing that they were planning to do was deterred by six voices shouting "DON'T!" and a few colorful swear words on Root's part.

So they sat there, until the speakers started making noise again. A faint sound emitted from the speakers, and it sounded strangely like…

Snoring.

One of them had probably fallen asleep on the mike, not bothering to turn it off. Holly decided to extract a little revenge right there by shouting "WAKE UP, YOU LAYABOUTS!"

Whoever had fallen asleep gave a grunt, and probably bumped her head on something hard, because a crashing sound and a loud "OW!" followed by the thud of something hitting the floor, even more crashing sounds, followed by an explosion sound.

And strangely, following that, were the distant sounds of a radio talk show.

"Ow."

"What just happened there?" Foaly asked.

"Well, it went a bit like this. Holly shouted, she woke up, bumped her head, fell down, and kicked the broken radio, causing a small explosion and getting it to work again." Katrina said, laughing.

"Are you all right?" Holly asked guiltily. "Sorry about that." She never knew that her captor was _THAT_ clumsy.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine…" she mumbled. "I just…_ouch_… need to… OW…get back to the chair. OW!"

Even more crashing sounds. Followed by a shriek, a thud, and another half-hearted "_ouch"_.

Holly, Foaly and Mulch were laughing now. At first it was a bit pitiful, but now it was just plain funny. Their captor was so clumsy, it was a wonder she was even alive.

She was mumbling to herself. "Stupid. Stupid, clumsy, stupid. Stupid, clumsy, stupid, idiotic Ria."

"Your name is Ria?" Artemis asked suddenly. He was surprised that they had never known her name before, being trapped in her company for four days.

"No," Katrina cackled. "Her name is Maria. Mariiiiiiiaaaa."

"Shut up, Katrina, your name is Maria, too," she snapped. "SO don't bother me about my name."

"HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE MARIA," Katrina shouted at the top of her voice.

"No! Stop it! YOU KNOW I DESPISE THAT SONG!"

Mulch knew that Ria was being driven insane by the song, so he joined in. Driving people insane was a talent of his. He sang along with Katrina, driving Ria to insanity.

Butler, sensing where the situation was leading, decided to interrupt.

"I think that's quite enough, Mulch. When Ria gets mad, she becomes insane. And when she's insane, she tends to shrink rooms. As I'm sure you remember."

Mulch stopped singing right then. Katrina, without someone to sing with her, suddenly quieted.

Ria was now reduced to whimpering, driven insane by the song.

Katrina cleared her throat. "Well, while I get Ria here sorted out, back to that old standby, potatoes."

At the word 'potatoes', another sack of potatoes appeared, along with the potato peelers. They all sighed, picked up the potatoes, and got to work. Katrina led the sobbing Ria away from the microphone, leaving the six prisoners of the box alone.

"We have to get out of here," Holly said, in a low voice. "Soon."

"They're mad," Root said, nodding his head in agreement. "Mad."

"Oh! I have an idea!" Foaly said suddenly. "Potatoes!"

"The settings of the box and the overdose of potatoes has finally made you insane, Foaly. Not even your tinfoil hat can save you now." Mulch remarked dryly.

Foaly swished his tail in annoyance. "No, stupid, I meant the potatoes gave me an idea."

"You plan to construct a computer made entirely of potatoes?"

"D'Arvit! Will you shut up, Mulch? The plan has nothing to do with potatoes, it's more on how we get the potatoes."

"Really?" Artemis spoke up, suddenly interested. Foaly's idea just might work after all. "Explain."

"I just noticed, that all the potatoes come dropping from the ceiling," he said. "So, if that's the way in…"

"Then it can also be the way out!" Artemis finished. "Of course!"

"So all we have to do is get to the ceiling," Holly said, understanding the plan. "But the one question is… how?"

"That's my idea!" Foaly continued. "I have a plan…"

But any mention of the plan was cut short by the return of their two captors.

"Okay, she's back to normal now," Katrina announced. "So she won't be shrinking any rooms today!"

A sigh of relief was heard in the box.

"But, we'll have to leave you here for a while," she continued. "I have to take Ria here to therapy. While we're not here, you can sleep, or do whatever it is you do when we're not around."

She turned off the microphone, and left the prisoners of the box alone again.

Foaly cleared his throat. "Now, back to the plan…"

---------

Authorness: Errr… I still have to make a plan. HELP!

Meep, I hate the name. Xx But after two hours of staring at a computer just looking for a name, you have to think of a stupid one. I dedicate Ria's name to Ko (hao-addict) and Katrina (OtakuNekoGirl), my fellow sufferers of the bitter name.

Now, be good and tell me in your review how exactly Foaly's plan is going to work.

The One Whose Brain Does Not Work Properly, also known as Ona, wishes you well.


	6. Holograms and Death Threats

_Foaly thanks you all for helping him make an escape plan. Especially **anythinggirl2004**, **Wottabout**, **athleticsrulz**, **Identitycrisis**, and **The Dark Empress of Eternity**. Now, I've put together the first letters of your pen names to create a codename for the plan. Codename **AWAIT**. XD Well, that was a lucky combination of letters. If by chance you don't see any mention of your part of the plan here, it's because I'll be including the rest in the next chapter. The execution of the plan is chronicled in two chapters. Meaning I have a sort-of cliffie. Here goes the story. Anger Management, Holograms, and Death Threats. Whee!_

_**Special Message to OtakuNekoGirl** (also known as the inspiration for Katrina's character): You're crrr… crr… crrr… cra…_

_For some reason, I can't finish that sentence. Because this is my reaction to something she said that left me in a state of shock and trauma. Sorry, but you have the weirdest taste. That was proved by your Hao-obsession. Anyway, she's crazy. But somehow, I can't finish the sentence—You're crr…_

_-whacks self on head-_

----------------------

"Ehhh… Maria? What are you doing?" Foaly asked cautiously. They heard typing and writing over the microphone, complete with muttered obscenities and occasionally the words "He must die".

"Don't call me Maria!" she snapped.

Root almost smiled there. Evil as she was, he had one thing in common with her. Hating to be called their proper first names.

"Um, okay, Ria."

"Writing a death threat," Ria said calmly. "To my therapist."

"Ahh… right." Foaly said slowly, backing away from the place where the sound was coming from.

"So I'll just be leaving you there," she continued, "While I mail this to my therapist."

She promptly turned off the mike, leaving Foaly to discuss the escape plan.

"Well, discussing it with Artemis, we have come up with the following escape plan," Foaly said. "Now that we have confirmed the mental instability of Ria, we plan to use this to our advantage."

"Since Ria has been known to shrink rooms when she's mad, we plan to upset her again," Artemis continued.

"So that she can shrink the room and turn us all into pancakes," Mulch continued sarcastically. "Great plan, Mud Boy."

Artemis ignored Mulch, and explained. "Since we only have one shot at this, we plan to make her shrink the room just enough for a person to climb up the walls."

"And how do you know that she won't shrink the walls enough to make us pancakes?"

Artemis hesitated. "We don't know."

"Anyway, on my signal, sing that song that she hates." Foaly said. "Then hopefully, she'll get mad enough to shrink the room."

Five minutes later, Ria returned, with Katrina. Katrina had apparently stopped Ria from mailing the letter, and Ria was getting mad.

"I told you, I left no evidence," Ria protested. "He'll never know it was me!"

"But, remember, your therapist said not to send threatening letters anymore! He says that you can't mange your feelings properly, and that—"

"Blah, blah, blah. I don't care what that old idiot says," Ria said, cutting off the rant. "I manage them properly!"

"You call sending death threats managing emotions properly?" Katrina retorted.

"Well, a death threat was the only way to handle that stupid—"

"NOW!" Foaly shouted, interrupting Ria's comeback.

"How do you solve a problem like Maria," they all sang weakly.

"You call that singing? You'll never annoy her that way! Just think of a potato-free meal," Foaly encouraged.

"HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE MARIA!" they shouted, thinking of potato-free meals.

If they had been able to see Ria, they would have noticed that one of her eyes was twitching and she was about to break whatever it was she was holding.

About thirty seconds into the song, Ria snapped. She let out a high-pitched noise that could have been a scream, but sounded more like a whistle. And, as expected, the walls began to close in.

"Go," Foaly whispered, letting Mulch and Butler climb the walls. This was part of their plan. Butler if they needed some brute force, and Mulch if they needed to open a few locks.

It was easy for Mulch. All he had to do was climb the wall, using the pores in his skin. But for Butler, it wasn't _that_ easy. You try walking sideways up a wall.

While they were attempting to escape, it seemed like the two of their captors were fighting over whether or not to stop the walls.

"Stop it, Ria! Remember, _anger management issues._"

"I don't care about freaking _anger management _issues. I'm shrinking the room."

"NO—Ria! Remember what your therapist said! When you get mad, other people may get hurt, so you must control your anger in ways that—" she suddenly stopped, and tried another tack. "This is not good! I'm stopping that wall from shrinking."

"Don't you dare," Ria shrieked, and they heard the thud of someone falling to the floor. After a bit of yelling, and some very painful sounding noises, the room gave a shudder, and the walls quickly stopped. And just in time, too. A few more seconds and they'd all have been pancakes.

Mulch and Butler had both reached the top, and poked through it to find…

"A hologram." Butler stuck a hand through the ceiling, only to find that there really was no ceiling in the first place.

"So… through the ceiling, then," Mulch said.

They went through the ceiling, only to find…

"A room full of potatoes," Mulch remarked. "Oh, great, more potatoes."

--------------------------

I, Ona the Crazy One, have decided to leave you a cliffie. Well, not really a cliffie. Well, you know, something along those lines. Now I go have to torture Mariel (hao-addict) to either change the character in her fanfic or turn it into one where Hao dies. –goes off muttering about Mariel's fanfic-

DIE, HAO, DIE!

ona


	7. Freedom AWAITs

To reviewers:

Yes, I'm Filipino. I'm also insane, which explains the choice of song. –hums song happily-

And the Llama Song? Explanation: I'm insane. The _Maria_ song? Explanation: I'm insane. That song's stuck in my head permanently. Explanation for the fanfiction in general: I'M INSANE.

Yes, there is an explanation to how and why they're stuck in the box, and why they have no memory of how they got there.

No, I have nothing against _Halo._ I said HAO. H-A-O. Okay? I hate _Hao._ I mean Hao Asakura from _Shaman King._ Not a video game. A character. Who I hate. HE MUST DIE, FOR HE IS EVIL, CREEPY, AND ALL THAT STUFF. He must be killed slowly and painfully, with a plastic butter knife and a small pair of scissors. If you misinterpreted H-A-O for H-A-L-O, then sorry.

This fanfiction will be ten chapters. Am already planning the end, the explanations, et cetera. Ten chapters. That's all.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

**The Potato Room**

Mulch stared at all the potatoes.

"So this is where the potatoes come from," he remarked.

Butler realized something. "If this is where the potatoes are from, how do they get in potato sacks and get dropped down through the roof?"

"The ceiling." Butler said suddenly, looking up.

"Yes, Mud Man, the potatoes come through the ceiling hologram, from this room," Mulch said sarcastically. "You just got that now?

"No," Butler growled, clearly irritated. "That ceiling."

Mulch tilted his head in the direction Butler was staring. "Oh."

In the center of the ceiling, they could see what could only be defined as a door. It was on the ceiling, but it was a door nonetheless.

---

**The Observation Room**

"Where's Mulch?" Ria asked suddenly. "I haven't heard from him these past few minutes."

"He's finally gone crazy," Holly lied. "He's in the bathroom, talking to a potato he named Carl."

There was a long pause as Ria tried to understand the situation.

"Oh, well, then I lose the bet," she said grumpily. "I was betting Root would go crazy first."

Holly laughed, and Root grew redder than ever.

"The convict and the Mud Man better hurry up breaking us out," Root growled in a low voice.

_Don't worry, Beetroot, they're hurrying all right!_

**Potato Room, again**

"Well, I don't think the walls of this room shrink."

"Wait there, Mud Man," Mulch ordered.

Mulch began to climb a stack of potatoes. As soon as he got to the top, he realized that the top wasn't high enough.

Muttering several curses, Mulch decided to try going as far up as possible on the potato stack, then using the wall for the rest of the way down. Butler stood by looking amused.

"D'Arvit, D'Arvit, D'Arvit," Mulch muttered. "Stupid potatoes."

Eventually, after falling several times for the next thirty minutes, Mulch made it through the door.

**Control Room (yes, this is where Ria and Katrina are)**

Now we enter the control room, where Ria and Katrina control all aspects of their prisoners' life, from room-shrinking to plumbing in the bathroom, to potato delivery. The control room was painted in neutral colors, with a wooden floor, several chairs and tables. Right in the middle of it all, were the controllers of the box.

"Well, this concludes another day of doing nothing," Ria said, grinning, looking sleepy.

"Yeah, we'll think of something tomorrow, we _promise._"

After turning off the mike, Ria and Katrina both fell asleep slumped over various tables in the control room, and Ria was snoring within minutes.

It was a pity they couldn't have been awake for a few more minutes. Because if they had been, they might've seen Mulch coming out of the door that led into the bottom room.

Mulch, who had been expecting to find a lethal weapon pointed to his head as soon as he got through the door, almost laughed out loud. This place had terrible security.

After examining his surroundings for a few more seconds, Mulch climbed into the room, and spotted a ladder leaning by the wall. It was probably what they used to get down there and drop the potatoes through the hologram.

After some difficulty, Mulch managed to grab the ladder and lower it down the trap door, making as little noise as possible. He was successful; Ria was in the corner snoring as loudly as ever.

-----------

**Potato Room**

Butler, who had been waiting patiently in the potato room, was a bit surprised when the ladder came down. But the feeling of surprise was replaced with a feeling of hope when Mulch came down. The plan might work after all!

_Of course it would,_ he scolded himself. It was Master Artemis' plan after all.

"Good job, you old reprobate," he congratulated Mulch.

"Don't get too happy yet," Mulch warned. "The two are still up there. Asleep, but could wake up."

Butler smiled. "Leave it to me," he said, climbing the ladder.

Mulch looked up, but couldn't see anything but Butler's feet. After a while, he couldn't see those either, Butler having moved away from the trap door.

"Nighty-night," Mulch heard Butler say. After that, Ria was no longer snoring.

Butler went back to the trap door, and looked down at Mulch.

"They've been taken care of."

"You didn't kill them, did you?" Mulch asked, suddenly worried. "What if they have the only way to get out?"

"Don't worry, they're not dead," Butler assured him. "But they won't be waking up for two hours at the least."

"Well, back to business, then," Mulch said, sounding relieved. "How do we get the others out? The ladder?"

"We can't use the ladder, the top of it won't fit through the trap door," Butler said, formulating a plan. "There's a huge amount of steel cable next to the ladder, maybe that'll work."

---------

**The Observation Room (The Box)**

Foaly looked up at the ceiling hologram, and wondered how the plan was going along. Unfortunately, the precise time he decided to look up was when a heavy steel cable smashed into his nose.

"Oops! Sorry about that," a voice said. That voice seemed to come from Mulch's body-less head. Mulch stuck his head through the hologram, giving the impression that his head was connected to nothing but the ceiling.

"Hello, Mulch The Floating Head," Holly said, grinning. "How's the plan coming along?"

"Pretty well, Holly. Just grab on the steel cable and Butler will lift you up. One at a time, please."

Holly went up first. As soon as Mulch made sure that Holly was holding on the steel cable tight enough, he gave the signal to Butler to start pulling. He repeated this for Root and Artemis without much difficulty. But for Foaly, it was going to be a little bit harder. Butler was getting a little tired, and it was definitely easier to grab and hold on to a cable if you were bipedal.

After a few failed attempts, they finally got Foaly lifted through the hologram and into the potato room. Now, the problem for him was how to climb the ladder.

Holly and Root both seemed amused with Foaly's predicament. But finally, after much laughing and teasing, they used the steel cable to pull him up the trap door, too.

They stepped into the Control Room. Butler then used the steel cable to tie Ria and Katrina to their respective chairs, so there would be no violent escape.

"Now all we have to do is either wake them up or wait for them to wake up."

"Yeah, let's wake them up by making Holly shout at them again," Foaly snickered.

Holly glared at Foaly.

"Well, I think we should wait for them to wake up," Artemis said. "Who knows what Ria will do if we wake her up."

The other five showed their approval, and sat down and started waiting.

Mulch looked at Ria. She looked creepy. Straight out of a horror movie. When he got out of this mess, he would need therapy too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

-bulletproof wall, again-

Anyway, the title of the next chapter will be Potato Interrogation. Leave your flames, reviews, ideas, violent reactions, et cetera by pressing the review button. D

ona the great one


	8. Potato Interrogation

_Well, I'm back with another freaky stupid chapter. Filipino language used in some parts. To clear things up, I put translations at the bottom._

_Also, my never ending apologies to Polo, because if you ever, ever, ever, EVER read this, Polo, then I am eternally sorry for that part. But you really remind us all so much of a donkey/horse/centaur/tikbalang/kabayo, so you are first that comes to mind when I hear the word 'horse'. Again, I am sorry. KASI TALAGANG PARANG KABAYO KA!_

_Again, sorry Polo._

_Xxx_

_Chapter 8: Potato Interrogation _

--------------

"They should be waking up in a few more minutes," Butler said, observing the two unconscious girls.

Butler took a good look at them. It wasn't hard to spot who was the one who tried to shrink the room. She gave off an air of insanity, with messy black hair hiding her facial features, skin almost as pale as Artemis', and about the same shape and figure of a skeleton. She looked crazy. Not in a harmless sort of way, either. She looked I'm-going-to-come-out-of your-TV-and-kill-you crazy. But in a louder, ruder, more insane way.

The other one, though, seemed normal. Brown hair that was also slightly messy, but the neatest thing in the world compared to Ria's hair. She looked ordinary, nothing at all like someone who would trap six people in a box. But ordinary looking as she was, Butler couldn't afford to let go of his suspicions.

"Creepy looking, isn't she?" Mulch took a closer look at Ria. "I swear, I think I saw her in a horror mov—AHH!"

Ria was waking up. And, next to her, so was Katrina. Katrina was attempting a coherent word.

"Brrfflp," she mumbled. Then she opened her eyes, realized what had happened, and swore.

"Well, one's awake," Mulch said. "Let's wait for the other one."

"I _am_ awake!"

Mulch jumped at the sound of Ria's voice. Ria was trying to shake her hair out of the way, and was failing miserably, and looking much like a dog trying to dry off its wet fur by shaking. After some difficulty, most of her hair finally got out of the way, and she finally got a good look at Mulch. What she saw, it seemed, surprised her.

"_AAH! Dwende! Dwende!"_ she screamed, trying to jump up and run away. But since she was tied to her chair, she just managed to fall down and collide painfully with the floor.

"Yes, I know I'm a dwarf, do you have to rub it in?" Mulch said, looking a bit surprised.

Ria was whimpering again, and her eyes were squeezed shut. "You don't exist, you don't exist, you don't exist…"

"Now, that's just mean!" Mulch said angrily.

"Oh, come on, Mulch, I'm sure she doesn't mean it…" Holly walked over to Ria, trying to get her to open her eyes. When she eventually did, she took one good look at Holly, and then screamed again.

"How does it feel to be screamed at, eh, Holly?" Mulch said smugly.

"Pointed ears! Dwarfs! A giant! A vampire! A _Tikbalang!_" She squealed. "Katrina, what did you put in my coffee?"

"CALM DOWN!" Foaly shouted, whacking her with a potato. But luckily for Ria, she wasn't knocked out by the flying tuber.

"What is this? Potato interrogation? Give the wrong answer, get hit by a potato?"

"Pretty much."

"Wow, I'm playing a game with creatures that DON'T EXIST."

_This was getting strange, _Artemis thought. _Ria was displaying the normal response of people who see The People for the first time. She was on the brink of going into shock. But, shouldn't she have known about The People? She had contained four of them in a box, along with Katrina. Speaking of whom, seems to already be going into shock as well._

"All right, enough of that now," Holly said suddenly, layering her voice with the _mesmer_. "Calm down, and we'll explain."

Ria and Katrina both instantly calmed down. Katrina's look of terror was replaced by a vapid smile.

"Okay, okay… nice voice and all that… all deep and stuff," Ria babbled.

"_Simple questions first. Whatever we ask, you answer. Let's start with who are you?" _Holly asked her voice still layered with the mesmer.

"She's Ria, I'm Katrina."

"_All right, that was obvious, so other questions. Where are we?"_

"The control room, and the control room is on some island, and that island's off the South China sea," Ria babbled. "And the South China sea's on the Earth," she added, for good measure.

"_Okay, why do we have no memory of being taken to the box?"_

"Because you were… what's the term? Oh, yes, mind-wiped. Mind-wiped, and then taken here."

"Why do you seem so surprised to see Mulch, Foaly, Root and Holly?" Artemis cut in.

"Who? But we were surprised to see the _dwende,_ and the two pointy-eared midgets and the _tikbalang." _Katrina droned.

"Why were you surprised?"

"Because they don't exist!" Ria squealed. "They don't exist, they don't exist, they don't exist…"

She continued chanting "don't exist, don't exist, don't exist, don't exist…"

Until Root shouted, "SHUT UP!"

"Okey-dokey, pointy red guy. Shutting up."

" Hey look, it's Polo!" Ria shouted, staring at Foaly. "Whatcha doing here, Polo?"

Foaly whinnied. "What in Frond's name is Polo?"

"You are, Polo!"

"I AM NOT A POLO! WHATEVER THAT IS!"

Retrieving another potato, he threw it at Ria in a rage.

"Yes you are, Polo," Ria continued, wincing as she was hit by another potato. "Because Polo is a _tikbalang,_ that's a horse, so you're Polo!"

In her highly mesmerized state, Ria realized she had just made a joke. So she laughed. Ha-ha. What actually came out was more like _"hfffrrlbrr."_

"_Okay, Ria, calm down," _Holly said, mesmerizing her again._ "If you say Foaly is Polo, then he's Polo. Okay?"_

"I'M NOTA POLO!" Foaly shouted. "Whatever that is!"

Holly glared at Foaly again, and questioned Katrina next.

"_Do you even actually know who we are?_"

"Yeah, you sound like that Holly person in the box! And Polo sounds strangely like Foaly. And the girl named Artemis sounds like the vampire over there!"

"_Okay, let's start with—I am Holly. And Foaly is not a… _Polo._ And it is generally believed that Artemis is male."_

Katrina frowned. "Artemis? _Hindi ba pangalan ng babae yan?_"

(You can maybe guess, but that meant: Artemis? Isn't that a girl's name?)

Holly grinned. She knew how much Artemis hated to be asked that question. "_Oo nga, pambabae ang pangalan niya."_

Artemis managed to guess what it meant, and tiredly reiterated his often-repeated explanation. "It's my father's name, and it can be—"

"We get the picture, Fowl," Holly said, cutting him off mid-explanation.

Meanwhile, Katrina also seemed to be prone to chanting while under the _mesmer_, and was repeating three words over and over again, to Artemis's annoyance.

"_Babae si Artemis, babae si Artemis, babae si Artemis, babae si Artemis, babae si Artemis…"_

(Artemis is a girl, Artemis is a girl…)

Ria, who seemed to enjoy the chaos created by Katrina's new chant, joined in.

Root also seemed to be annoyed by their new chant, and put a stop to it quickly.

"_Okay, stop. We get it. Artemis is a girl's name."_

At that point, Artemis tried his luck at throwing a potato at Katrina. Unfortunately, his aim wasn't exactly the best thing in the world.

"Hey, you throw like a girl, too!"

"He's got you there, Mud Boy," Foaly mocked. "Your girl's name does suit you in that respect."

"It is _not_ just a girl's name, Artemis explained, showing a bit of annoyance.

"Yes 'tis." Ria argued in a slurred voice.

"Normally it is, but—"

"_Okay, Artemis is a girl's name, we get it!"_ Holly cut them off mid-argument. "_He's a boy with a girl's name."_

"Yeah, JB never told us about that. We assumed Artemis was a girl," Katrina blabbed.

"JB? Who's JB?" Artemis asked, all traces or annoyance gone.

"JB hired us. To take care of you guys." Ria said proudly. "We had an audition, and we were considered Most Annoying. So we were hired."

"And what does JB stand for?"

"I don't know."

"Well, where can you meet JB?"

"JB's coming tomorrow, to explain stuff."

"Is JB a fairy or a human?"

"A human, of course!" shrieked Ria. "Fairies don't exist, don't exist, don't exist, don't exist…"

"WE GET IT!" Root roared. He followed Foaly's lead, picked up a potato, and hit Ria with the third of the flying tubers.

"Okay, pointy red guy. JB always said that you had to watch your temper."

"We'd better meet this JB soon," Root growled. "To know who he or she is, what motives they have, and what their problem is with my temper!"

---------------------------------

_I make short chapters. JB? It's kind of obvious. Look around fanfiction and my reviews, and you might find out. _

_Translations—actually a bit obvious._

_Dwende- dwarf. P_

_Tikbalang- centaur. Also used to refer to Polo. Sorry, Polo._

_Babae si Artemis- Artemis is a girl. xD_

_Also, reviewer replies in no particular order:_

_Identitycrisis- Yes, pay raises and pink bunny suits are included._

_Athleticsrulz- I have no idea what the Big Brother control room is. There's a Pinoy Big Brother, but it hasn't really started yet and I really don't have plans to watch, school and all that keeping me away from televisions and computers._

_RebelRose- I created a We Hate Hao Club. Wanna join? And okay, I'll read the Aztec Incident.-stumbles off to search- _

_FlamingNinja- Glad to clear up that Hao-Halo thing. Halo is nice, as far as I've heard. _

_Anythinggirl2004- Yeah, Holly should hit Foaly. I think I'll work that into the remaining chapters._

_The Dark Empress of Eternity- Dun dun DUN indeed. D_

_Senseikkhehe- Thanks! _

_Fish stix satay- thanks! _

_ArcherGirl87- Thanks!_

_Sergeantstan- Thanks!_

_Knuckles Spyro Fox Link Zidane Sora Artemis- Tell me what happens to the potato should you choose to actually microwave it P_

_Almostinsane- Sure! You can "help" them! -thinks up of a way to include you-  
_

_Otakunekogirl –(Katrina in the story, my best friend, and beta tester) Don't think I didn't stop to read this. No, I still think you're cra…, and a lousy interfering beta. I'll never trust you with it anymore. XD Never ever, ever try that again. I'm going to kill you. I'll get Stephanie, Ko or Bia to edit instead next time._

_Wow, this is possibly the longest chapter I've made. My chapters are really short._

_Anyway, until next chapter which is called: The Return Of The Dog. (Berus is coming back. Yep.)_

—_Ona_


	9. Sorry!

It's a disguised author's note chapter. 'Kay?

---

"How much longer are we going to have to wait for this JB per—"

Artemis was stopped before he could finish the sentence. The room froze, as if time had stopped. Time had indeed stopped.

Ria blinked. "Why'd you stop talking, vampire boy?"

It seemed Ria was not affected by the time stop. And judging by Katrina's confused look, and the fact that she was screaming, neither was she.

"Wha—But—" Katrina and Ria protested.

A girl appeared out of nowhere. She walked up to Katrina.

"Read this out loud," she said, shoving a paper into Katrina's hand.

Katrina gave her a confused look, and started reading.

"To my dear readers, I'm afraid that I will have to put this fanfiction on hiatus."

"What's a hiatus?" Ria interrupted.

Katrina rolled her eyes and started reading again. "Thanks to time constraints and never-ending writer's block—"

Ria interrupted again. "CAN YOU AT LEAST TELL ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?"

The girl gave an exasperated sigh. "I created you, and I can't trust you to keep quiet for this message?"

"Huh?"

"Fine," she said, frowning. "You're obviously not any good for dictating this message, and if I let Katrina do it you'll just keep on interrupting. Artemis!"

"—on?" Artemis completed his sentence, and looked around to discover the time-stop in progress. "What's all this about?"

"Artemis," the girl snarled. "Read this, you useless mud boy." She snatched the paper out of Katrina's hands.

Artemis gave her a wary look, and started reciting.

"To my dear readers, I am afraid I will have to put this fanfiction on hiatus. My life has simply become too busy for me to update regularly, and I promise that I shall create more chapters soon. I am sorry for the inconvenience, and hope that you enjoyed _People Stuck In A Box_. I thank you all for reviewing, it means so much to me. Hopefully you'll forgive me for putting this story on hold."

Artemis stopped reading, and looked at the girl.

"How tacky and sentimental. You really think that's the best way to leave a parting note to your readers?"

The girl gave him a truly foul look and grabbed the paper away.

"I was in a hurry. Anyway, now that that's done, you can go back to suspended motion. Back to your original positions, all of you."

Katrina, Ria and Artemis grudgingly went back to their seats.

The girl smiled. "There we go. Back to time stop in five… four... three… two… Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention."

She gave them all a stern look. "You will not remember any of this. This has nothing to do with the plot."

Katrina and Ria nodded meekly. Artemis just rolled his eyes.

"Okay, that's settled. TIME STOP YA GO!" she yelled.

And so the scene froze again, leaving everyone but the author of the fanfiction frozen in a timeless state.

"Oh, yeah!" She muttered to herself, suddenly realizing something. "I can just disregard this chapter happened when I write the next chapter. Silly me!"

And laughing softly, she disappeared from the control room in a snap.


End file.
